Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil. Chuck Norris killed that man.
Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.