Chuck Norris needs no introduction, but if you need an introduction, you need Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane. It landed yesterday.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
Chuck Norris made the llama extinct. Never spit in his face.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't vote. He elects!
Chuck Norris is not cool. By saying that, I have decreased my life to 5 seco...
Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.