Chuck Norris' snot rocket was used to take men to the moon.
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Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.
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Chuck Norris acting contracts are if the movie producer want Chuck Norris to act in his movie, the producer is roundhouse kicked.
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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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