Chuck Norris froze hell.
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
No sense in playing Clue with Chuck Norris, we know it was Chuck Norris with a roundhouse kick in any room.
Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
Shhhhh... Did you hear that? Chuck did.
Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.