Chuck Norris froze hell.
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Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
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Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall.
This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
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Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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Chuck Norris can Moonwalk on the Sun.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
If you carefully examine your health insurance policy, you will see that there is no cover for "Chuck Norris related incidents".
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Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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