Joke #2813

I knew I was gonna get along with my mother's boyfriend just fine. Cause when we met, I said to him "Hi Mr. Bob, How are you doing?" He said: "Oh you don't have to Mr. Bob me, just call me motherfucker".
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has 63.67 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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There was three girls and they all had boyfriends and separate rooms. The mom walked by all the rooms. The first room she hears laughing, the second room she heard screaming and the third was totally quiet. The mom was suspicious, so she asked the third girl why was she so quiet she replied, "My boyfriend said not to talk with my mouth full."
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has 62.79 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Me - Can you go to your moms room? Friend - Yeah, why? Me - I left my pants in there. Friend - Fuck you!
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has 49.00 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Friend: Dude, I can't stop dreaming about my crush. Me: Well imagine this... You're home alone, and your crush comes over to visit. Friend: Ok I can see it... Me: She walks into your room and you're just sitting there. Friend: Uh-huh.. I'm likin' this. Me: Ok. So she walks in front of you, takes her pants off. She's not wearing any underwear.. And then she sits on you. Friend: Oh-ho-hoo.. Whatta' naughty girl. Me: Yeah, ok. Don't get dirty on me. So she's sitting on you. And then... she starting shitting in you. Right then and there, you find out you're a toilet. Friend: I hate you...
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has 64.89 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What's long and hard and full of semen? A: A submarine.
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has 65.55 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time
A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you fart?”
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has 78.99 % from 448 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, fart, food
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
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has 58.51 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: computer, dirty, geek, IT, viagra
Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
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has 54.86 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: dirty
"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine. He will be my squishy." "Let go of my boob."
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has 52.05 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A mouse and an elephant are walking through the forest. The elephant falls in a hole so the mouse gets his Porsche throws a rope down into the hole and pulls the elephant out. So they continue walking and the mouse falls into a hole. The elephant throws his dick into the hole and the mouse climbs out. Moral of the story: if you have a big enough dick you don't need a Porsche.
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has 67.83 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, dirty, elephant