Joke #2813

I knew I was gonna get along with my mother's boyfriend just fine. Cause when we met, I said to him "Hi Mr. Bob, How are you doing?" He said: "Oh you don't have to Mr. Bob me, just call me motherfucker".
Vote:
has 64.22 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
Vote:
has 78.17 % from 421 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, men, women
There were three nurses in a morgue... They entered a room where they had discovered that there was a dead man laying on the bed with a hard-on. The first nurse was very forward and said, "Wow! I have never seen that before, I can't let that go to waste". After saying this the first nurse sat and rode it. The 2nd nurse did the same. The third nurse explained that she couldn't as she was on her period. After a bit of convincing she eventually rode it. After 3 minutes the man woke up. The Nurses said, "What the hell... You were dead a few minutes ago" The man replied, "yeah I was... But I feel great now I have had two jump starts and a blood transfusion".
Vote:
has 77.66 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, disgusting, nurse, sex
Whats the difference between a coffin and a condom? One you go in the other you come in!
Vote:
has 65.08 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why was the dirty old man fired from the poultry shop? A: He couldn't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.
Vote:
has 59.95 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty
In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language. My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.
Vote:
has 57.62 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, ethnic, school
On the other day in a cemetery, I saw a woman who was rubbing her ass to a grave. When I asked the reason, she answered: "It was my husband when he was alive; always he told me: 'Your ass is so sweet whenever any dead man touches it he'll be alive!'"
Vote:
has 63.87 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, sex
A Russian guy comes across a bottle of vodka on the street. He picks it up and a genie comes out, "You are my master. You now have one wish." The Russian man says, "I would like to piss vodka." When the he gets home, he tells his wife to get two glasses. She asks what they'll be drinking. He tells her he can piss vodka and demonstrates for her. It was the best vodka they'd ever had. The next night the Russian guy comes home tired and tells his wife to get one glass. She asks, "Why only one glass?" "Because tonight," he says, "you should drink from the bottle."
Vote:
has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife
Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viagra coverage. What will they use to set those guidelines? A growth chart.
Vote:
has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money, viagra
There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says "Mommy what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies "Ummm... they are making cakes. now come on, we'll go to the Zoo" At the Zoo, the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother "What are they doing?" And her mother replies with the same response, "They are making cakes. Thats it we're going home" The next day the girl says to her mother "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night, weren't you?" Shocked, the Mother says, "What? How do you know?" She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
Vote:
has 60.02 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A lady walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," the lady said. "Now you have to remove them."
Vote:
has 71.67 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, husband