Q: What's the difference between a lesbian finger-fucking a blonde and a Schwinn at the side of the road?
A: One's a bike in a ditch, and the other's...
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Q. Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A. She kept having affairs with men!
A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears.
The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?"
The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.
Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?"
"The sucker called again!"
How did the blonde burn her nose?
Bobbing for chips.
How do lesbians handle their liquor?
By the ears.
(Lick her)
A blonde goes to the hospital to give blood and is asked what type she is.
She tells them she’s an outgoing cat-lover.
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment?
Potpourri.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?
All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
a lickalotapus.
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy.
The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?”
This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.”
The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.”
“OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.
Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.”
“There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde.
After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”