Joke #11330

Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."

Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.

Q: What do the mosquito parents say to their small children, when they see people lying on the sandy beach during a hot summer day more than 15 minutes? A: "Kids, prepare the cutlery and your chin-straps. Our lunch is already heated up and ready for the consumption!"

My dotor told me: "I've tow news for U; one good and the other one bad, which one do U prefer to hear first?" I replied I prefer the good one. Doctor: "U will die after next 24 hours!" I told: "Then what is the bad newsrnDoctor: "I forgot to tell U yesterday!"

Yo momma is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas.

Judge: "You are sentenced to 2 years of solitary confinement" Me: "Thank you."

I have got a new dog. We have trained together for two months and imagine, after these two months I was able to reach him my paw and managed even barking around on command. My dog can be proud of myself.

Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, "Hey, Roy, you wanna take a chance on a raffle?" "Whada ya win?" "A million dollars!" said the redneck. "You get a dollar a year for a million years." "How much are they each?" "Ten cents. Two for a quarter. Or three for half a dollar!"

Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.

So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.

A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says, "Come again!" Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."