Joke #11330

Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."

Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.

Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.

Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!

Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day? A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."

"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!" "Don't you mean netsurfing?" "No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"

Fan: "I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What's it for?¨" Athlete: "It's for telling knock knock jokes." Fan: "And what's that gold medal for?" Athlete: "For stopping."

Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!

A blonde calls her mom... Blonde: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!" Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?" Blonde: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."

"I have the body of an athlete." "Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."