Joke #11357

Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.
Vote:
has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: athlete, time

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
Vote:
has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: athlete, time
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
A hippie walks on a bus and sees a nun. Being the straight forward kind of guy he is, he says "Hey baby, want to have sex?" The nun says "God no!" so she gets off the bus angry. When the hippie is about to get off the bus, the bus driver asks him "Hey man. you see that graveyard across the street?" The hippie go's "yeah I see it, what about it?" "well every Tuesday night at 8:30. the nun go's to the top of the hill to pray. If you dress up as a ghost, and tell her to have sex with you, she'll have too" The hippie replied "sweet!" So Tuesday night comes and the hippie has a ghost costume, 8:30 comes and here comes the nun. The hippie pops out and says "I am the ghost of a man buried here, and I command you to have sex with me!" The nun go's "Well... ok, but I have a virgins aspect so it has to be oral" So the nun and the hippie have oral sex and the hippie runs away and says "Ha, ha I was actually the hippie" and the nun said "Ha, ha I'm actually the bus driver!"
Vote:
has 39.89 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: gay, sex, time
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Vote:
has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: athlete, celebrity, ethnic, sport
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Vote:
has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: athlete, music, sport
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!
Vote:
has 49.30 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: athlete, blonde, fat, stupid
Why did the bald man take up running? To get some fresh 'air.
Vote:
has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: athlete
Q: What does it mean if you were born in September? A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
Vote:
has 67.76 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, new year, sex, time
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard. Then they heard voices. Three men had broken into the greenhouse. Scared, they called the police. The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls. The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again. He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!" In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed! One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them. " The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."
Vote:
has 84.76 % from 932 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, death, time
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Vote:
has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, athlete