Did you hear about the hopeless athlete?
He ran a bath and came in second.
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Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race.
One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds."
The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record."
So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?
A: Mistle-toes!
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
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You're not alone.
Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he's running in circles.
Elmore walked into his favorite truck stop cafe and said to the owner, "Hey, Roy, you wanna take a chance on a raffle?"
"Whada ya win?"
"A million dollars!" said the redneck.
"You get a dollar a year for a million years."
"How much are they each?"
"Ten cents.
Two for a quarter.
Or three for half a dollar!"
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom...
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Oh, you play racquetball?
You must be extremely athletic.
I haven't spoken to the mother in law for 6 months now... apparently, it's rude to interrupt!
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