Joke #11357

Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: athlete, time

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: athlete, time
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken. The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, food, time
Why did the bald man take up running? To get some fresh 'air.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: athlete
Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
Vote: has 75.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: athlete, life
Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband : Nothing. Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour." Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
Vote: has 63.77 % from 452 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, marriage, time, wife
Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: athlete, kids
St. Peter was sat next to the god in heaven when the all of a sudden the pearly gates started to rattle. God said to Peter,"go and see who is rattling the gates." Peter ran down the stairway to heaven and opened the pearly gates and there stood a dirty unwashed man in a vest. Peter looked the man up and down and said "yes' can I help you?" The man replied in a broad Irish accent, "Top of the mornin to ya sur, would the good lord have any scrap he be not wanting?" St. Peter stood silent for a moment then said: "wait here a moment." Peter shut the gate and ran back up the stairway to heaven and said to God, "It's Pykies my lord, wanting scrap." God says to St. Peter "Shit! Lock everything up and hide the keys, then go back down and tell them to bugger off!" Peter runs down the stairway to heaven opens the gate and tells "the pykie to bugger off, slams the pearly gates shut and locks it. Peter returns to the lord." God says to Peter, "we'll give it half hour then go and see if they have gone." A half hour passed. "Peter! Go and see if they have gone!" Peter runs down the stairway to heaven then returns to God panting and says to God "They have gone, my Lord!" "Good" says God, "and so have the pearly gates, my lord."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, god, heaven, mean, time
Yo mama so fat it took nationwide 3 years to get on her side.
Vote: has 81.54 % from 802 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, time, Yo mama
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
Vote: has 53.07 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: athlete, Christmas, elf
The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Vote: has 76.51 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, life, prison, time