Joke #11357

Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, time

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
Vote: has 81.69 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, time
Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
Vote: has 80.46 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, life
Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch... He saw it 3 times a day.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
Vote: has 76.22 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: love, marriage, time, women
Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, " Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of ' careful consideration' , she answered "Yes. Yes, I will. " The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?" He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: memory, old people, time, wedding
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Vote: has 80.35 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, athlete
Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?" Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?" Jack: "Prontosaurus."
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete, dinosaur
Q: Why is marriage not a word? A: It's a lifelong incarceration!
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time
Why did the bald man take up running? To get some fresh 'air.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: athlete
A frightened investor goes to his financial planner and asks if he’s at all worried about the volatility of the markets these days. The planner replies that he sure does! In fact, he says that he sleeps like a baby. The frightened investor was amazed! "Really? Even with all the fluctuations?" "Yup! I sleep for a couple of hours, and then I wake up and I cry for a couple of hours."
Vote: has 79.91 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, money, time