"I have the body of an athlete."
"Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
Vote:
An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor.
The doctor says, ‘We have three possible donors.
One is a young, healthy athlete.
The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.’
‘I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,’ says the patient.
‘Why?’ asks the doctor.
The patient replies, ‘It’s never been used.’
Why did the bald man take up running?
To get some fresh 'air.
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race.
One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds."
The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record."
So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
Fan: "I see you won a silver medal at the Olympics. What's it for?¨"
Athlete: "It's for telling knock knock jokes."
Fan: "And what's that gold medal for?"
Athlete: "For stopping."
Vote:
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards?
A: She wanted to gain weight!
Did you hear about the hopeless athlete?
He ran a bath and came in second.
Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?"
Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?"
Jack: "Prontosaurus."