"I have the body of an athlete." "Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?" Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?" Jack: "Prontosaurus."
Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor. The doctor says, ‘We have three possible donors. One is a young, healthy athlete. The second is a middleaged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practising law for 30 years.’ ‘I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,’ says the patient. ‘Why?’ asks the doctor. The patient replies, ‘It’s never been used.’
Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? A: She wanted to gain weight!
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.