Q: What kind of music do elves like best?
A: "Wrap" music!
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A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!
Chuck Norris can watch music.
Vote:
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
Q: What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?
A: Why, shortbread of course!
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status?
A: Elf-employed.
Not too long ago, there was a woman who wanted to know how her husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone.
She decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore.
After writing the letter, she put it on the table in the bedroom and then climbed under the bed to hide until her husband got home.
When he eventually came back home, he saw the letter on the table and read it.
After a few moments of silence, he picked up the pen and added something to the letter.
Then he started to get changed, whistling happy tunes and singing and dancing while he did so. He grabbed his phone and dialed a number.
His wife listened from under the bed as he started chatting to someone.
"Hey babe, I'm just changing clothes then will join you," he said.
"As for the other fool, it finally dawned on her that I was fooling around on her and left. I was really wrong to have married her; I wish you and me had met earlier. See you soon, honey!"
Then he hung up and walked out of the room.
In tears and very upset, she climbed out from under the bed and stumbled over to read what her unfaithful husband had written on the end of her letter.
Through teary eyes, she read: "I could see your feet you idiot, I am going out to buy bread."
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice.
Except for Chris Brown.
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!