Q: Why didn't the dentist ask his secretary out?
A: He was already taking out a tooth.
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"I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?"
"That's right, Sir."
"So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?"
"That was my dentist."
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In the courtroom where I worked as a court reporter, a dentist was called as a witness.
He took the oath a few feet from my desk, and I noticed his upraised arm was trembling, apparently from nervousness.
After he finished, I couldn't resist saying softly, "Sit down, Doctor. This won't hurt a bit."
Q: Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?
A: Dracula's dentist.
They called him the king of the dentists because he specialized in crowns.
Q: What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?
A: He braces himself.
Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building.
The italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says "Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
The chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and says "Man, if I get rice one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
The blonde opens his lunch box to find a cheeseburger and says" Man, if I get a cheeseburger one more time im going to jump off this building and fall to my death!"
So the next day they all got the same thing and they jumped off the building to their death.
That weekend at the funeral, the italian and the chinese wives are crying and saying "I would have fixed him something else for lunch but he never told me."
And as the two wives stare at the blondes wife, they both ask why she isn't sad about her husbands death, the blonde replys "Don't look at me, he packs his own lunch."
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about.
He asks his father for advice.
The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain.
Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.
He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?"
Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card.
He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard.
I'm talking day-in and day-out just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it's all over, he showers and goes to his job.
What does the dentist of the year get?
A little plaque.