Joke #4696

Using a credit card is a convenient way to spend money you wish you had.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money

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"Hey, today we got the four of clubs. A guy named Samir al-Aziz, a Ba'ath party bad guy. And we now have the four of clubs, the five of clubs, the five of spades and the seven of diamonds. I don't know what game they're playing at the White House, but today, when it was confirmed that we had the four of clubs, Condoleezza Rice had to take off her blouse." Bill Maher "The Pentagon said this week that the war in Iraq has cost $20 billion so far. The breakdown is operations: $10 billion; personnel: $6 billion; getting Bush re-elected: priceless." Bill Maher "The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain." Bill Maher "Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'" Bill Maher.
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has 13.57 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, money, political, racist
Q: Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet? A: They never want to log off.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, internet, money
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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has 54.06 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: food, money
What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, christian, money, old people, Yo mama
Patient: "Doctor, I want to thank you for your great medicine." The doctor was very much pleased. He asked: "Did it really help you?" Patient: "It helped me wonderfully." Doctor: "How many bottled did you find it necessary to take?" Patient: "I did not take any of it. My uncle took one bottle and I am his sole heir."
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, money
I’m proud to say I made my money the old-fashioned way. My dad left it to me in his will.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial. When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as quickly as he can. The bartender asks, "my goodness, why are you drinking so fast?' The guy replies, "You would be drinking just as fast if you had what I have." The bartender looks at him curiously and says, "What do you have?" The guy responds, "Only one Dollar."
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, money