Joke #4696

Using a credit card is a convenient way to spend money you wish you had.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money

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A young woman walks into a bank to withdraw some money. ‘Can you identify yourself?’ asked the bank clerk. The young woman opens her handbag, takes out a mirror, looks into it and says, ‘Yes, it’s me all right.’
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: money
You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: money, weed
I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.
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has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: black humor, money
George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer's firm, and was ushered into his office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked. "Well, if those are my choices, I guess I'll take the bad news first." "Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars." "That's the bad news?" George was stunned? "If you call that bad, I can't wait to hear the terrible news." "The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, office, wife
An American goes to the train station so he can start his big trip. He notices there a machine with the indication: "Put A Dollar in the Slot and the Machine will Tell you who you are!" Curious, he puts the dollar inside the slot and he waits. The machine suddenly sounds; "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." The man blacked out with the machine's ability. So, he decided to trick the machine. He wore a fake mustache and putted another dollar inside the slot. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago," says the machine. "But it's impossible!" screamed the man, acquiring a maniac need to trick the machine. He ran to the toilet and disguised as an Arab. Then, he did the same routine. "You're John Bull from New York, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You're about to take the 2.30 train to Chicago." Furious then, he disguises as a woman and puts the dollar as usual in the slot. -You're John Bull, an Accountant, 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos and with your bullshits you.. lost the train!
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, travel
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
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has 14.67 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
‘A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.’ Bob Hope
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money
A man comes home alone from work. Suddenly he hears this voice saying: "Now its time to quit your job, sell your house, take your money and go to Las Vegas." He doesn't pay much attention to it but after a week hearing the same voice, he thinks ok! He quits his job, sells his house, withdraws all his money and goes to Vegas. The moment he steps out of the plane the voice tells him "Find the nearest casino!" He enters a casino and the voice says: " Go to the roulette-table and put all your money on 17 black! He complies and the croupier spins the wheel and says "Rien ne va plus" 21 RED! And then the voice goes "Damn!"
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: game, money, time, travel, work
Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system
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has 65.56 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, life, money, women
Our family was so poor our Christmas dinner was the leftovers from our last Christmas dinner.
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has 12.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: money