Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music?
Matthew: Why?
Peter: Because he broke the record!
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Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music?
"Because he broke the record."
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Oh, you play racquetball?
You must be extremely athletic.
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
Vote:
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me...
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents.
Friend: That's Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom...
I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
Vote:
A javelin thrower called Vicky
Found the grip of her javelin sticky.
When it came to the throw
She couldn't let go.
Making judging the distance quite tricky.