Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?" "Yes," the golfer responded. "Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?" "Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked. "Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?" The golfer thought it over carefully and responded... "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
Did you hear about that music composer who commited suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
How do you know if Dr. Dre has a high sperm count? Eminem has to chew before swallowing.
There’s no game like golf: you go out with three friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies.
Why did the bald man take up running? To get some fresh 'air.
Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.