Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
What’s a mouse’s favorite record? Please cheese me!
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
A psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving give an oral quiz to the freshman class. Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you." The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."
I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match. I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.
Did you hear John McEnroe went for an audition for the latest Harry Potter film? They turned him down, saying "You cannot be Sirius!"