Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
Did you hear about the hopeless athlete? He ran a bath and came in second.
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
Q: How does David Beckham change a light bulb? A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.