Joke #11393

Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
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Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
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Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
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Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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What’s a mouse’s favorite record? Please cheese me!
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Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
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A psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving give an oral quiz to the freshman class. Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
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A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you." The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."
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I’ve got nothing against watching a darts match. I just wish my IQ were low enough to enjoy it.
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Did you hear John McEnroe went for an audition for the latest Harry Potter film? They turned him down, saying "You cannot be Sirius!"
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