Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
Q: What kind of music do elves like best? A: "Wrap" music!
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don’t see why not," replies the doctor. "That’s funny," says the man. "I wasn’t able to play it before."
You're not alone. Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he's running in circles.
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France's on DRUGS! When I'm on drugs, I can't even FIND my bicycle.
A little monster was learning to play the violin,' I'm good, aren't I?' he asked his big brother. 'You should be on the radio,' said his brother. 'You think I'm that good?' 'No, I think you're terrible, but if you were on the radio, I could switch you off !