Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.
What do cows call Frank Sinatra? Old Moo Eyes.
Motley Crue released a new song called "Roundhouse Kickstart My Heart" dedicated to Chuck Norris. It will be number one in the top 40 forever.
You're not alone. Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he's running in circles.