Joke #11393

Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
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Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
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Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
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Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
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So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
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Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear. The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him. The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
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Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?" Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?" Jack: "Prontosaurus."
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What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues.
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Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
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At Christmas time, there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep. Maybe that's why I'm no longer a fireman.
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You're not alone. Sometimes, even Usain Bolt feels like he's running in circles.
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