Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Oh, you play racquetball? You must be extremely athletic.
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
So I heard the reason Usain Bolt is so fast is because his offseason training consists of going back home and hitting on dudes.
Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? A: Mistle-toes!
"I have the body of an athlete." "Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
You: "I'm only 35, I have my whole life ahead of me." Sports Broadcaster: "Here comes the oldest player in the league. He's 32. A miracle."
Jack: "What's the name of the fastest dinosaur at the Olympics?" Jill: "I haven't a clue. What?" Jack: "Prontosaurus."
Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.