Joke #11530

No time for gym? Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym, time

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Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
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has 78.92 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: fat, fitness, food, gym
I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
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has 78.86 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, fitness, gym, mean
This guy named "John" asked advice how to lose extra LBS gained during vacation and was told about some new fitness center. So John went to check it out. Walked in, put $10 on the counter and said: "I'd like to lose 10 LBS please?!" The receptionist smiled and pointed to a pink door. John walked slowly into the room and saw only a massage table, a gorgeous scantily dressed woman on the other side. She said in a sexy voice "If you catch me, you fxxx me! " John ran around n round, caught her and... A few days later John returned. He put $20 on the counter and said "I'd like to lose 20 LBS. The smiling receptionist and pointed to a red door. John strutting to the door, and entered where he beheld 2 beautifully attired very hot n sexy women kissing and caressing each other, then they stood up, gazed at John, who was already moving toward them. And they purred "you catch us, you fuck us!" Already in motion, John ran round n round caught one, then caught the other... The following week John went back again. He smiled while searching for the door he knew was waiting for him, and slapped $50 on the counter saying excitedly "50 LBS for 50 bucks." The receptionist pointed to a black door. John strode over with quick steps, opened the door and immediately heard a deep voice belonging to the biggest blackest buck naked she-male say excitedly "I catch you I fuck you!"
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has 78.80 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: fitness, money, time, vulgar, women
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
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has 78.38 % from 289 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fitness, gym
What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
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has 75.19 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym, health
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
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has 71.72 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, fitness, gym
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: car, fitness, gym, time
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: fitness, flirt, gym, sport
Work emails are like the gym. You sign up for it thinking it will be loads of fun. You get bored of it within hours. You only keep going to keep up your reputation. The more you stay away, the harder it is to go back.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, gym, life, time, work
Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? A: Curls.
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym