I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
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Q: Why did the hipster float down the tributary?
A: Because the river was too mainstream.
Q: Why did Hitler hate golf?
A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram
Vote:
Hipsters hate rivers.
Too mainstream.
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels!
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home.
The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window.
After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up.
Again, she starts to tilt to the other side.
The nurses rush back to put her upright.
This goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Vote:
Q: Why do hipsters love using the subway?
A: Because its underground.
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion?
A: It was too current.
One morning when I was going out of the house I met my neighbor's daughter who was pregnant.
When I returned home I saw her father closing the door.
I told him: "Your daughter hasn't married yet I wonder how it is possible a girl without any husband be pregnant?
For a moment her father with a bitter smile said: "She isn't pregnant; it is all wind in her belly. She farts and would recovery."
Next year perchance I saw the same girl with a baby in her arms.
Next day when I was going out facing her father so I told him: "I saw your daughter with her fart in her arms."