I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
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Q: Why did Hitler hate golf?
A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup?
Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
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Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence.
Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green."
The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall."
The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue."
The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors."
From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?"
The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly."
Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
There once was a girl named Suzy Brown
Said no one could lay her down.
Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete,
With forty pounds of swinging meat.
He took her in the long tall grass,
Shoved his dick right up her ass.
Then she blew one gnarly fart,
Blew his ball two feet apart.
Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete,
With forty pounds of shredded meat.
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Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession?
A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-ass jeans.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet?
A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
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Little Johnny's father farted.
The son asked his father: "What was that?"
His father said: "My sweet that is 'north wind'"
When he went to school the teacher asked the class: "Who knows the direction of the north wind?
Little Johnny shouted: "My daddy's ass!"
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