Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast? A: Mice Krispies.
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!
Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: What do you call a big pile of kittens? A: A meowntain.
Yo mama so fat when she went to bruger king the bruger was running as fast as they can.
Why didn't the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
Q: What do you get if you cross a fence post was a kitty? A: A poleca.
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.