Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.
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Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To never tell a human that
The world is really ruled by cats!
Q: What do you get if you cross a fence post was a kitty?
A: A poleca.
Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies.
Little Annie is now silent for a while.
"You understand it now?" Mum asks.
"Yes," replies her daughter.
"Do you still have any questions?"
"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"
"In exactly the same way as with babies."
"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty.
She's not wearing any clothes.
A guy asks his waiter at a restaurant how they prepare their chicken.
The waiter goes blank for a second, then says, "Nothing special really... We just tell them they're going to die..."
Yo' Mama's breath is so nasty, it makes onions cry.
If you want to lose weight, it is not so difficult as it seems.
You only have to leave out the third breakfast, the fourth lunch and the fifth dinner.
Q: If Nuts on your chest are Chestnuts and Nuts on a wall are Walnuts. What are Nuts on your chin called?
A: A Cock in the mouth!
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Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water.
I decided to tell the waitress.
"This soup is awful," I said.
"I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."
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