Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast?
A: Mice Krispies.
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Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To never tell a human that
The world is really ruled by cats!
A Rolls Royce pulls up in to an expensive restaurant.
A sheik emerges, followed by a harem of women and a rooster.
After ordering for himself and his harem, the sheik requests a basket of apples for the rooster.
The rooster proceeds to eats three baskets of apples.
The waiter asks the sheik about the voracious appetite of the rooster.
The sheik explains, "A genie granted me three wishes. My first wish was to have an endless supply of money. My second wish was to have many beautiful women. And my third wish was to have an insatiable cock."
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat?
A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty.
She's not wearing any clothes.
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size?
A: Silicone chips.
Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.
Vote:
Two kittens on a sloped roof.
Wchich one slides off first?
The one with the lowest mew.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she put a cucumber in her panties and pulled out a pickle.
Your Momma is like Burger King "Have it Your Way".
Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies.
Little Annie is now silent for a while.
"You understand it now?" Mum asks.
"Yes," replies her daughter.
"Do you still have any questions?"
"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"
"In exactly the same way as with babies."
"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"