Joke #11539

Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast? A: Mice Krispies.
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: food, kitty

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Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!
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has 65.24 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: cat, food, kitty, life, poems
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cat, kitty
Two old ladies are in a restaurant. One complains, "You know, the food here is just terrible." The other shakes her head and adds, "And such small portions."
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has 28.48 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: food, old people
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
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has 68.15 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food, science
A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast-food restaurant. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would let him buy another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, “Oh, no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared 50-50.” The young man asked the wife if she was going to eat, to which she replied, “Not yet. It’s his turn to use our teeth.”
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, old people
Me: "Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know." Waiter: "I asked if you were dining alone." Me: "Oh, sorry. Yes."
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has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, single
Q: What do you call a big pile of kittens? A: A meowntain.
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: kitty
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mum asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, kitty