Joke #11539

Q: What does a kitty like to eat for breakfast? A: Mice Krispies.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!

Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mum asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"

Yo Mama is so fat, when she sweats, she smells like butter.

Q: What did one vegan say to the other vegan? A: We have to stop meating like this.

Two kittens on a sloped roof. Wchich one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew.

You have got to be kitten me!

Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.

A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl of peanuts. "I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!" "That’s okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway."

If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?

What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!