This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.
A man who just died is taken to the local mortuary. He is wearing an very expensive and high quality tailored blue suit. The mortician is a blonde female and she asks the wife of the deceased man wife how she would like the body to be dressed. The motician says that the man does look very distinguished in the blue suit he is already wearing. His widow, however, says that she always preferred her husband in black, and that she would like him in a black suit. She gives the blonde mortician a signed, blank cheque and says, "Spend whatever you need no matter what the cost, but please have my husband in a well tailored black suit for the viewing." The woman returns the next day for the viewing and to her delight, her husband dressed in a fabulous black suit. The suit fits him as if it were tailor made. She says to the mortician, "You have done a magnificent job and I'm very pleased and grateful. How much did the suit cost?" To her amazement, the blonde mortician gives her back the blank cheque. "There's no charge," she says. "No, really, I must repay you for the cost of that exquisite black suit!" she says. "Honestly," the blonde says, "It cost me nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husbands size was brought in yesterday shortly after you left, he was dressed in a very attractive black suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a beautifully tailored blue suit instead, and she said it did not make any difference as long as he looked good..." "So I just swapped their heads."
Q: Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? A: For kitty littering.
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
Q: What do you get if you cross a fence post was a kitty? A: A poleca.
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
Two kittens on a sloped roof. Wchich one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew.
Roses are red lemons are sour. Open your legs and give me an hour.
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra? A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.