Joke #11578

This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kitty

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The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
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has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, christian, dirty, husband, women
Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, "Whatcha doin' Daddy?" Johnny's dad stoops over to cover up his d*ck and starts looking at the floor. "Oh, I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he says. Little Johnny asks, "Whatcha gonna do, f*ck it?"
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has 80.61 % from 266 votes. More jokes about: dirty
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
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has 74.65 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, friendship, phone, sex
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*ck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?" He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
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has 79.58 % from 147 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mum asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
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has 74.89 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, kitty
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
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has 36.78 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, kitty
Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in inappropriate parts and said to his dad, "I wish I could do that." Jimmy's dad looked down at Jimmy and said, "Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!"
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has 70.40 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two kittens on a sloped roof. Wchich one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew.
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has 54.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: kitty, nerd
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, cat, kitty
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
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has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cat, kitty