Two kittens on a sloped roof.
Wchich one slides off first?
The one with the lowest mew.
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Knock-knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
No, to whom.
Vote:
Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies.
Little Annie is now silent for a while.
"You understand it now?" Mum asks.
"Yes," replies her daughter.
"Do you still have any questions?"
"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"
"In exactly the same way as with babies."
"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To never tell a human that
The world is really ruled by cats!
A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?"
The proton replies "I'm positive."
Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
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Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane?
A: Kitty-hawk
Q: What do you get if you cross a fence post was a kitty?
A: A poleca.
Infinity mathematicians came to bar.
First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter...
The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"