Joke #11647

Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East? A: A Selfie!
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Did you know you can download the whole Tyson-Holyfield fight off the internet? It doesn’t take much memory – just two Bytes.
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I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
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Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
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Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam... In the Sahara Desert.
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Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathisers.
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Chuck Norris once decided to dig a hole, today we call it the Grand Canyon.
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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: An instagram
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Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
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Terrorists have hijacked a planeload of lawyers bound for a legal convention. They’ve threatened to start releasing the lawyers one by one until their demands are met.
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What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus? A dead wringer.
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