Joke #3919

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist? A: Terrorists have sympathisers.

Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.

Terrorists have hijacked a planeload of lawyers bound for a legal convention. They’ve threatened to start releasing the lawyers one by one until their demands are met.

Q: What do you call a terrorist attack in the Middle East? A: A Selfie!

Three holy men rode a plane home. There was a terrorist on board who of the firm belief that the world should end. Who should talk him out of it. The pilot and his crew gave up and believed the holy men should live. In the remains was a burnt soccer ball labeled flame retardant. And a melted black box. The holy men still live to tell the tale. And so does the football.

Q: Where do suicide bombers go after they die? A: Everywhere!

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!"

What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge.

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start!

So this retarded blind couple just lives in Guantanamo Bay. The prison warden told us soon these little fishies would grow gills. So we have been feeding our fishies since 911 they all been fed really well. In our daily water events until I told my wife, "there is a problem these fish haven't grown any gills." So we told the Warden and he laughed he said: "you know what you've been doing since 911 the blind couple relied on what!" The warden replied, "well you've been waterboarding convicted isis terrorists!" The blind couple said, "what happens to the fishes?" The warden replied, "well they are dead of course!"

Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers? A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.