Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have sympathisers.
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Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage.
They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
Terrorists have hijacked a planeload of lawyers bound for a legal convention.
They’ve threatened to start releasing the lawyers one by one until their demands are met.
Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes?
A: The execution.
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A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.
He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
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Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.
So this retarded blind couple just lives in Guantanamo Bay.
The prison warden told us soon these little fishies would grow gills.
So we have been feeding our fishies since 911 they all been fed really well.
In our daily water events until I told my wife, "there is a problem these fish haven't grown any gills."
So we told the Warden and he laughed he said: "you know what you've been doing since 911 the blind couple relied on what!"
The warden replied, "well you've been waterboarding convicted isis terrorists!"
The blind couple said, "what happens to the fishes?"
The warden replied, "well they are dead of course!"
What’s the difference between a dead lawyer in the road and a dead skunk in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
A: Yes sir, I do.
Q: Where do suicide bombers go after they die?
A: Everywhere!