I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal... When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
2 girls meet: "Me & my husband are no longer together..." "Why?" "Well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?" "No, of course I couldn't!" "Well he couldn't either!"
How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
There are three moms. A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"
Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
Police Officer: "How high are you?" Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Yo Momma so stupid, she thought seaweed is something fish smoke.