I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal...
When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
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Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common?
A: They are both baked chickens.
Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high
Chuck Norris once soaked his beard in carbonated water.
The result is now sold as Red Bull.
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How do you suffocate a nigger?
Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.
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Police Officer: "How high are you?"
Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"
Me: "I only smoke weed because of Cancer."
Mom: "You don't have Cancer!"
Me: "So it's working..."
Q: If Nuts on your chest are Chestnuts and Nuts on a wall are Walnuts. What are Nuts on your chin called?
A: A Cock in the mouth!
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Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients?
They hid their own eggs!
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My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.