I still don't understand why smoking weed makes you a criminal...
When I smoke it the only thing I a threat to is cake.
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Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common?
A: They are both baked chickens.
Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high
Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
Vote:
2 girls meet:
"Me & my husband are no longer together..."
"Why?"
"Well, could you live with a person who smokes weed, drinks, has no job and always cusses?"
"No, of course I couldn't!"
"Well he couldn't either!"
Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school?
A: Because they're all in high school
An apple, a banana and a penis got into an argument one day.
The apple says sadly "I have the worst life ever.
People take one bite of me and throw me on the ground."
The banana says "You think thats bad?
People take off my clothes, eat my insides and leave my clothes on the floor."
The penis laughs. "You guys have it easy.
You try having people sticking you in dark, wet caves, putting bags over your head, messaging you for hours and making you do push-ups until you throw up!"
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale?
A: Mr. President.
Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor?
A: Drug Abuse.
Why did the cannibal live on his own?
He was fed up with other people.
Vote:
An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap.
On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.
Then the priest comes in.
"Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be."
The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side."