Facebook: "My kids are perfect." Instagram: "My kids are beautiful." Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach? No, you should do it on a computer.
Q: Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids? A: Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
How do barmen surf the web? On the Gin-ternet.
Girls are like an internet virus: they enter your life, scan your pockets, transfer money, edit your mind, download their problems and delete your smile...
"Have you got the address of the butter website?" "Yes, but don't spread it around."
A man walks into a sperm Bank. He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle. He decides to start a conversation with him. He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?" The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
Yo mama is so fat she doesn't need the internet. She is already world-wide!
Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.