Facebook: "My kids are perfect."
Instagram: "My kids are beautiful."
Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
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I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
Mum,can i dress a bra?
No.
Why not.I am 14 years old!
How many times I will say you "no", Michael...
When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.
Vote:
Two men are chatting;
"My son asked me: 'Daddy, where do children come from?'"
"It's not a big deal... Today kids are interested in that matter on the early years."
"Yeah men, but the real issue here is that my son is... married... for five years!"
Teacher: "Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions."
Pupil: "It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers."
When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
Vote:
What do we do with crude oil?
Teach it some manners!
A team of doctors attended the delivery of quintuplets who were able to walk immediately after the umbilical cords were cut.
The senior doctor was asked to explain this unusual occurrence.
‘I guess they had a lot of practice,’ said the doctor.
‘What do you mean, “practice”?’ asked a junior colleague.
‘They were just born!’ The doctor replied, ‘Well, it was standing womb only.’
A press release:
"Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."