Joke #11729

Facebook: "My kids are perfect." Instagram: "My kids are beautiful." Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: internet, kids

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I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
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The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!
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As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: computer, kids, navy, technology, time
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
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has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health, kids
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
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has 75.57 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."
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has 46.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: fish, kids, music
Chuck Norris's e-mail adress is [email protected]
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, internet, IT
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
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has 37.45 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, kids, masturbation
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!
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has 72.45 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, school