Facebook: "My kids are perfect."
Instagram: "My kids are beautiful."
Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
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I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach?
No, you should do it on a computer.
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Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a elevator?
A: The elevator can raise a child.
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"Where did you born?"
"At the hospital!"
"Don’t tell me! And what were you in for?"
Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!
The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!
Q: What do you call a black man on the internet?
A: The dark web.
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A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement.
He was so proud of himself that he started calling his wife, "Mother of Six", in spite of her objections.
One night they went to a party.
He decided that it was time to go home, and wanted to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouted at the top of his voice,"Shall we go home, Mother of Six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouted back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
I have two accounts on Facebook it means I have two faces.
It's really good because one is cuter to attract people.
When you google up Chuck Norris, he googles you back for revenge.
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