Facebook: "My kids are perfect." Instagram: "My kids are beautiful." Twitter: "My kids are why I drink."
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
The biggest SEO problem with trampoline websites is the high user bounce rate!
As a member of the organization that installs computer systems aboard Navy ships, I am mindful of how important the off-ship e-mail capabilities are to sailor morale, especially when some vessels are deployed for up to six months. One day while shopping at the base commissary, I noticed another crucial aspect of my job. I was behind a frazzled mother with two active children, and as I watched, she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!"
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Q: "What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?" A: "You can't tuna fish."
Chuck Norris's e-mail adress is [email protected]
I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.