I am often asked, "Is google a man or a women?" My simple answer is: It's a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.
On the Internet you can be anything you want. It's so strange that many people choose to be stupid.
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full". That's just 3 random words. I'm going to try now. Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on? A: Your bad backlinks.
Q: What do builders use to make websites? A: Com.crete.
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Bruce lee does not drink water, he drinks WATAAAA.
"I spent the whole evening knotsurfing!" "Don't you mean netsurfing?" "No, everyone was complaining because I tied the computer up for ages!"
Me: What do you call someone who isn't sure if they like egg nog or not? Wife: What? Me: An Eggnogstic. Wife: This is grounds for divorce.
Every time you're sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.