I am often asked, "Is google a man or a women?"
My simple answer is:
It's a woman because it won't let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.
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On the Internet you can be anything you want.
It's so strange that many people choose to be stupid.
Justin Bieber got 100,000 retweets for tweeting "Live life full".
That's just 3 random words.
I'm going to try now.
Jockstrap squirrel potatoes.
A man walks into a sperm Bank.
He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle.
He decides to start a conversation with him.
He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?"
The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI...
If you make a list of 10 things Chuck Norris cannot do, he will appear at your house and perform them all.
Your life may be forfeit.
Vote:
Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they're all like "we need to talk."
I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times already.
10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash.
Now we have no jobs, no hope and no cash.