Joke #11799

The Perfect Man: - wakes up at 5 am everyday - exercises everyday - makes his own bed - cleans his room - works sincerely - does not touch alcohol - helps in the kitchen - does not indulge in night life - always punctual - prays daily - hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
Vote:
has 83.02 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Three couples are having a picnic. One man says to his wife, "Pass me the honey, honey." The second man says to his wife, "Pass me the sugar, sugar." Then the third man says to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, pig."
Vote:
has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: couple, food, mean, men, vulgar
How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.
Vote:
has 74.15 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: god, lawyer, men, tax
I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: "Yeah, three males and two females." Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."
Vote:
has 76.89 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: men
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
Vote:
has 69.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
How does a man show he's planning for the Future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Vote:
has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: beer, men
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I'd never put it on now.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men, wife
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
Vote:
has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, men
Something Special For His Birthday It was Jim's birthday, and he was considered to be an "old man" by his friends standards. So, to liven him up a bit, Jim's friends decided to give him something special for his birthday. They bought him a hooker. The call girl, as she preferred to be called, went to his house and knocked on the door. When Jim answered, she said "Hi I'm your birthday present!" Startled, he asked "What am I supposed to do with you?" "I'm yours for super sex," she answers. So Jim replied "Well, I'm 75 years old so I'll have the soup."
Vote:
has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 53.88 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
Vote:
has 65.63 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women