I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: "Yeah, three males and two females." Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?
What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.
Two men walked into a restaurant, the first one asks for tea. The second also asks for tea. "And make sure the glass is clean," he tells the waiter. When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, "Which one of you asked for the clean glass?"
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away!
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle. "That’s a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That’s still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I’d like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror.