I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter.
When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: "Yeah, three males and two females."
Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference.
He said: "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A rumor.
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son?
Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
What did God say after she made Eve?
"Practice makes perfect."
What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders?
A scrotum pole!
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why?
Theres no place like home ...
One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?"
Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?"
Dan says, "OOOOH WOW!
Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Doc, says Steve, "I want to be castrated."
"What on Earth for?"
"It's something I've been thinking about for a long time.
If you don't do it, I'll just go to another doctor."
"OK, but it's against my better judgment."
Steve has his operation.
The next day he walks down the hospital corridor very slowly, legs apart, with his drip stand.
Heading toward him is another patient walking exactly the same way.
"Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me."
"Yeah," says the patient, "I finally decided I'd like to be circumcised."
Steve's eyes widen in horror, "Oh no! That's the word!"