Men are like.....Horoscopes. They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Men are like......Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are
One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?" Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?" Dan says, "OOOOH WOW! Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
They put one man on the moon. Why can’t they put them all there?
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape... to play Santa Claus.
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body? A: He is all right now.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A. They already have boyfriends.
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.
Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra? Now he's hard up.