Joke #3304

What's the difference between a man and a messy room? You can straighten up a messy room.
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In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
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Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
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What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A rumor.
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A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”
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There were three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After a while, one of the first two turned to the third and says, "Well... what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" "Well, on our honeymoon, I made damn sure my wife came to me on her hands and knees," he bragged and took another sip of beer. His friends were amazed! "What happened then?" they asked, almost in unison." "Well, then she said, "Get the hell out from under that bed and fight like a man!" he admitted.
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2 cannibals having dinner. 1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew." 2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."
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Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
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Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
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If you catch a man…throw him back.
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An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
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