What's the difference between a man and a messy room?
You can straighten up a messy room.
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A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation.
The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..."
"Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman."
Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..."
"Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man."
"Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom."
"Why, honey?"
"Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."
4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left.
One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says.
"Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?
Guilt gifts are nicer.
Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need.
A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.
How are men like diplomas?
You spend lots of time getting one, but once you
have it, you don't know what to do with it.
A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please."
"Did you bring a container for this? "
"You're speaking to it."
A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp.
After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the blondes in the world would get twice whatever she asked for.
So the brunette thought a while and then wished for a million dollars.
"Every blonde in the world will get two million."
The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man.
Every blonde in the world will get two incredibly handsome men.
The brunette said that was fine too and the genie granted her wishes.
"Now for your third wish." said the genie.
"See that stick over there?", asked the brunette,
"I want you to beat me half to death with it."