Joke #3304

What's the difference between a man and a messy room? You can straighten up a messy room.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: men

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Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife? A: Let him keep her!
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Five Important Qualities 1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
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Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
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has 80.46 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life, mean, men, women
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
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Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman. Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: husband, men, wife
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young girl at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special." At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated by check. "I know you need to make sure the check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank on Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said. Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account." "I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"
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has 74.78 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: men
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
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A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
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What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy? A Saddle Light Dish.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cowboy, food, men