What's the difference between a man and a messy room?
You can straighten up a messy room.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What does a man make best for dinner?
Reservations.
Jennifer, wanna go to my place?
I am not Jennifer
But I didn't ask about that...
Q. Why did the woman bury her husband 12 feet under?
A. Because deep down he's a good person.
A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce.
The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce.
The man persists and asks to see the manager.
The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce."
As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standingright behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half."
The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"
"Canada, sir," the boy replied.
"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.
The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there."
"Really?" said the manager.
"My wife is from Canada."
"No sh*t?" replied the boy.
"Who'd she play for?"
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
A Roadway driver is driving east on Route 66 he sees a truck driving west and the CB crackles to life.
“Hey Roadway driver, who are the two biggest fags in America?” comes from the CB.
The Roadway driver replies, “I don’t know.”
The other trucker says ” You and your brother.”
Well the Roadway driver gets annoyed but the other driver tells him “It’s just a joke – tell it to the next truck you see.”
Well the Roadway driver drives for about an hour and finally sees another truck.
He gets on the CB and says “Hey other truck, do you know who the two biggest fags in the world are?”
The other trucker says, “I don’t know, who?”
The roadway driver replies “Me and my brother.”
Men are like Bluetooth.
When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"?
A: They want to watch their asses.
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:None, the sockets go with the house.
Vote: