Joke #1575

Men are like.....Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men

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How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
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Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.
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Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.
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Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: men, women
What is the thinnest book in the world? "What men know about women."
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men
A man sits on a bus looking ashamed. The man next to him notices and asks what is wrong. He says that when he went to buy the bus ticket, the woman serving him had the most unbelievable breasts, so he got flustered and asked for two tickets to Tittsburgh instead of Pittsburgh. The man next to him laughs, "Don't worry about that. We all make Freudian slips. This morning I was having breakfast with my wife. I meant to say, 'Pass the salt,' but I accidently said, 'You f**king bitch, you ruined my life.'"
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Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat? A: Who knows it's never been done.
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An exhausted hunter out in the woods stumbled across another hunter. Hunter 1: "Am I glad to see you, I've been lost for three days." Hunter 2: "Don't get too excited, friend, I've been lost for three weeks."
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: hunting, men
A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition. "What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman. "Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license", he answered. "Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat, "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk." Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car." At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
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has 82.00 % from 256 votes. More jokes about: cop, drunk, men, money
Q: What happens to the man who lost his whole left side of his body? A: He is all right now.
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men