Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad?
A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
There was three guys a sex addict a weed addict and a alcoholic they all went to hell for their sin and was standing in front of the devil.
The devil made a deal with them saying I will lock you in a room with what ever you did for a 1000 years and if you get over any of your sins I will send you back to the land of the living, Earth.
So the sex addict got locked in a room full of virgins, the alcohol addict got locked in a room full of beer, the weed addict locked in a room full of weed.
1000 years later the Devil goes to the sex addict he comes out saying "Aww my dick hurts I'm never having sex again", poof back to earth.
Open the alcoholic room and he say "Im never having beer", and gets sent back to Earth.
Then the Devil opens the weed addicts room and the Weed addict punches the Devil in the face and says "you forgot my lighter bitch!"
Q: How do all stoner stories start?
A: This one time when I was high...
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel.
After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead.
No sign of the blonde.
After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore.
They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink.
After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"
Yo mama so short when she smokes weed, she cant even get high.
It's funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible...
But 8 glasses of wine can be done in one meal.
Q: What did the Nickelback fan say to the other Nickelback fan when they ran out of weed?
A: Man, this music sucks.
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London?
They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
Q: How do you know when you are stoned?
A: When you are too phoned to stone home.
How are women and linoleum floors alike?
You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.