Q: How long does it take before a pound of weed goes bad?
A: I don't know! I've never had it longer than an hour!
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There was three guys a sex addict a weed addict and a alcoholic they all went to hell for their sin and was standing in front of the devil.
The devil made a deal with them saying I will lock you in a room with what ever you did for a 1000 years and if you get over any of your sins I will send you back to the land of the living, Earth.
So the sex addict got locked in a room full of virgins, the alcohol addict got locked in a room full of beer, the weed addict locked in a room full of weed.
1000 years later the Devil goes to the sex addict he comes out saying "Aww my dick hurts I'm never having sex again", poof back to earth.
Open the alcoholic room and he say "Im never having beer", and gets sent back to Earth.
Then the Devil opens the weed addicts room and the Weed addict punches the Devil in the face and says "you forgot my lighter bitch!"
Q: How do all stoner stories start?
A: This one time when I was high...
A deer hunter asked his Pastor if it was a sin to hunt on Sunday.
"From what I hear about your aim," said the Pastor, "It's a sin for you to hunt anytime."
How do you suffocate a nigger?
Tell him there's weed inside the pillowcase.
Vote:
Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
Vote:
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale?
A: Mr. President.
Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high
Q: What do you call money that grows on trees?
A: Marijuana
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague.
The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
Vote:
Three men were walking along in the forest when they were captured by a group of cannibals.
The king of the cannibals gives the three men a challenge "If you complete this challenge, you will go free, if not we will eat you."
The three men, not wanting to die, agree to hear the challenge.
"You most go in to the forest and pick out 10 of any fruit you find, bring those fruits back here" the king says.
The three men head out in search of their fruit.
The first man comes back with 10 apples in his hands, happy as can be.
The king then says "You must shove those 10 apples up your butt without making a sound."
The man reluctantly agrees to try.
He gets the first one up without a sound, but screams in agony on the second and is killed and eaten.
The second man comes back with 10 grapes in his hand.
Again the king states the challenge.
The 10 fruit up the ass, without any sound.
This is going to be easy he thinks.
He gets through the first 9 without a single sound.
Just as he is about to shove the 10th grape up he bursts out in laughter.
He is killed immediately.
The second guy still laughing meets the first guy up in heaven.
The first guy says, "What's so funny? You could have still been alive!"
He replies "I saw our buddy coming back with 10 pineapples and a huge smile."