Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high
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If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
Three kids were smoking behind the shed.
"My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first.
"Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy.
"That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
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Your mama is so short when she tried to get high she couldn't.
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ?
One's composing, the other is decomposing.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Q: How did the sand get wet?
A: The sea weed!
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
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