Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?
A: Han So-high
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If you say "alright" in the mirror 3 times Matthew McConaughey will appear and hand you a joint.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.
Jason Bourne is Chuck Norris' daughter...
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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There was a guy in a bar one night that got drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk.
When the bar closed, he got up to go home.
As he stumbled out the door, he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk.
So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face.
Well, the nun was totally surprised, but before she could do or say anything, he punched her again.
This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt.
Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall.
By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn't move very much.
So then he leaned over her, put his face right next to hers and said;
"Not very f..kin' strong tonight, are you Batman?"
Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed?
A: You can't smoke too much weed.
Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
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You can't buy happiness but you can buy weed… and that's pretty close.
Every time you're sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.