Q: What do pirates wear in the winter? A: Long Johns!
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
Q: Where do Snowmen go to dance? A: To snowballs.
Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food? A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A: A sunken chest with no booty!
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
Q: Why are black people, pirates? A: Because they go nigarrr.
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."
A pirate walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender walks over to him and says "Hey, I couldn't help but notice when you walked in. Is that a steering wheel hung between your legs?" "Aye!" replied the pirate, "And it's drivin' me nuts!"
Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush? A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!