Joke #11880

Q: How did the hail stone describe it's life? A: It really has a lot of ups and downs.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, weather

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather? A. Drizzle
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, music, weather
McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. "It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes," she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. "Miss," he said, "I’m meetin’ me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ears?" Kelly was standing in front of Cohan’s Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, life, weather, wife
A reporter heard Bush and one of his underlings talking in the hallway: "Mr President, how do we know for sure Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?" Pres says "You think we’re stupid boy?" "We made copies of all the receipts!"
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, political, stupid
Knock, knock! Who's there? Opportunity! That is impossible. Opportunity doesn't come knocking twice!
Vote: has 61.89 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: knock-knock, life
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. ” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
Vote: has 45.78 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, school, student, weather
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, dirty, mean, weather, women
A manufacturing plant was in full swing one day. The company's massive machine was humming along, taking in the raw materials at one end and churning out the finished product at the other. All of a sudden, the machine stopped and ground to a halt. Workers climbed all over it like ants to get it started again. The plant's manager stormed out of his office to find out why his multi-million- dollar machine wasn't making him any money. He listened to his people saying they couldn't figure it out, and he told them to call a technician.  Soon a tech arrived, and the manager frantically explained to him that he needed his machine back as soon as possible. The technician listened patiently, took one look at the massive hulk of motionless metal, and immediately walked over to a small panel, opening a tiny door inside to see a screw. The technician took a screwdriver and turned the screw one-quarter turn to the right, and the machine suddenly came back to life as if nothing was wrong. The manager hurried over to thank the technician, shook his hand, and asked what he owed him for saving his company.  The technician answered, "$100,000.00". The manager looked at him and said, "You were here less than two minutes and just turned one screw. How can you charge so much? Give me an itemised bill."  The technician calmly wrote out on a piece of paper:  -Turning of one screw: $1.00.  -Knowing which screw to turn: $99,999.00.
Vote: has 73.68 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, money, work
No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris. But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
Why are we so sure that Eve was African? If she were white, she wouldn't have eaten that apple! She would say, "Is this organic? What would Oprah do?" If she had been Asian, she'd have eaten the damn snake!
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A nigger family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.
Vote: has 54.80 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, racist, school, weather