Q: Why do hipsters love ice?
A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
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Q: "What is the difference between like and love?"
A: "Spit and swallow."
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife.
A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?"
The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!"
The undertaker does as he is told.
On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter?
A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Q: Why did Hitler hate golf?
A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
Kind of surprised hipsters haven't started tying their beard's in man buns yet.
What famous painting do cows love to look at?
The Moona Lisa.
Q: You know what would make America great again?
A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.
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