Q: Why do hipsters love ice?
A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
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Did you hear Richard Simmons had plastic surgery to get his love handles removed?
Yeah... now he has no ears.
Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant?
A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession?
A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Once upon a time, my wife and I were in the local restaurant.
We have talked to each other, but after a while, I have become quiet and then I started to talk, I have said: "you know, I love you so much, I will never leave you, never, ever, every single day I think only of you, we will be always together."
My wife has asked me: "Oh, darling, these words were addressed to me?"
I have said only: "Oh, no, sorry, darling, this time I am talking to this bottle of beer."
Life is like a definite integral.
Integral from birthday to death ( LOVE ) dx = LIFE
When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me.
First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her.
Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
Kind of surprised hipsters haven't started tying their beard's in man buns yet.
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
Did you hear about the two dumb blonds who went two the drive in theater and froze two death they went two see closed for the winter?
A truck was traveling through town.
When the driver stopped at a red light, A blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, "Mr. you're losing part of your load".
She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light.
She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver's window, "Mr. you're losing part of your load."
The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver's window, before she could say anything, the driver said, "MA'AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE, I'M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK......."