Joke #11894

Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: hipster, love, winter

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A mother and her daughter were visiting the grave site of a loved one, when on their way back to the car they little girl stopped her mom. She said "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, sweetheart." her mother replied, "Why ever would you ask such a question?" "The headstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: car, kids, love
Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth? A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: hipster, phone
To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland": Dog tags ring, are you listening'? In the lane, snow is glistening. It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight, Marking up my winter wonderland. Smell that tree? That's my fragrance. It's a sign for wandering vagrants; "Avoid where I pee, it's my property. Marked up as my winter wonderland." In the meadow dad will build a snowman, following the classical design. Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man, So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine! Straight from me to the fence post, flows my natural incense boast, "Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth, I mark it as my winter wonderland."
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has 58.86 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, dog, poems, winter
A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him. Morals of the story: 1. Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy. 2. Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend. 3. And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
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has 77.13 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: bird, friendship, life, winter
Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush? A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: travel, winter
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
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has 27.66 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: hipster, light bulb, mean
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: hipster, light bulb
Q: Where does a snowman keep his money? A: In a snow bank.
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has 54.06 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: money, winter
Q: Why did the hipster burn his tongue? A: Because he ate his food before it was cool.
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has 77.74 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: food, hipster
Q: How did the wanna-be-hipster die? A: Trying to cross the mainstream!
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has 79.57 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: death, hipster