I'm so hipster, even I've never heard of my favorite band.
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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist?
A: Cool music!
Q: Why did the hipster float down the tributary?
A: Because the river was too mainstream.
Q: Why did Hitler hate golf?
A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession?
A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.
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Songs are not going to make us do anything we would not ordinarily do.
Because if that was the case, the song "Achy Breaky Heart" would have made me kill somebody about a year ago.
A guy walks into a tavern.
As he walked up to the bar he noticed a twelve-inch man playing the piano, so he asked the bartender, "What's that all about?"
The bartender told him he that would tell him later.
So the guy asked the bartender for a drink.
The bartender said, "Before you get your drink, you get to rub the magic beer bottle and make one wish."
"Okay," said the guy.
He went over to the magic beer bottle and rubbed it.
Poof.
Out came a genie.
The genie, of course, said, "You have one wish."
The guy thought about it and then wished for a million bucks.
A cloud of smoke filled the room, and then both the genie and the guy disappeared.
In a few minutes, the guy reappeared back in the bar with a million ducks all around him.
The guy was astounded and said to the bartender, "Hey! I didn't want a million ducks."
The bartender replied, "Do you think I wanted a twelve-inch Pianist?"
Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
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