Christano Roanaldo dives because he thinks of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.
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Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
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A couple of years ago the english national team was about to start training in preparation for an important qualifying match when the manager at the time, Sven-Goran Eriksson, discovered a big turd in one of the penalty areas on the practice pitch.
Ok boys, he said, who's shit on the ground?
Emile Heskey replied:
"Me coach, but I'm good in the air!"
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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What does the fox say?
Whatever the hell Chuck Norris tells him to.
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A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said: "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there.
So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."
The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks: "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then he answered: "I think... no... yes... I’m not sure... what about 4?"
"Did you say 4?" the smiled coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.
At that, all the other players on the team began screaming: "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
Football match Romania – Russia.
Romania wins and receives a telegram from Russia:
“You’ve won!
Stop.
Congratulations!
Stop.
Oil!
Stop.
Gas!
Stop...
If you click on start, run, then type in Chuck Norris you will get a permanent blue screen of death.
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Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides.
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