Christano Roanaldo dives because he thinks of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
Barcelona beats every team in the world, Chuck Norris can beat Barcelona... by himself.
Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
If Chuck Norris was an answer, there would be no question, Chuck Norris answers to nobody.
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer? A: Chelsea.
Bad Zoo 1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk. 5. The Lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King. 6. The alligator in the Reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida's Mascot. 7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you. 8. Ask the Tour Guide too many questions and you're suddenly dipped in some sort of sauce and placed in the Tigers den. 9. The Elephant appear to be two guys in a two part Elephant suit. 10. Two words: Hippo Dogs!
Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.
Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
During the soccer match little Johny sits in the front row. His friend asks: How did you get tickets? From my brother - respond Petya. And where is your brother? At home. Looking for his ticket.