Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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Chuck Norris keyboard doesn't need a delete button.
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Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
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Chuck Norris is a fact.
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Chuck Norris has no need for a TV remote.
He stares at his television, until it changes the channel.
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Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
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Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
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