Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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Someone once broke into Chuck Norris' house and instead of stealing anything they gave Chuck Norris everything they owned.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...
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If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
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Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
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A body in motion will remain in motion until roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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