Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Oxygen needs Chuck Norris to survive.
Chuck Norris once won a staredown over a walkie talkie.
When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.
Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
Chuck Norris can play volleyball with a bowlingball.
To be roundhouse-kicked by Chuck Norris means getting his autograph.
Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall. This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.