Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard...
They were never seen again.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
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Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
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Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
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The president of the USA lives in the White House.
Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
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