Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Tungsten steel was discovered in Chuck Norris' DNA.
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Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
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Chuck Norris fires Donald Trump.
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Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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Chuck Norris once jumped. Now we have seven Continents and a tilted planet.
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Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
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Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
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