Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
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Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
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When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
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Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
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Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D.
There where no survivors.
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Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
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Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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