Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles?
A: Mr. XMass
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My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.
A young teacher explains to her class of third graders that she is a born-again Christian.
She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too.
Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air.
There's just one girl who doesn't raise her hand.
So the teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
The girl says, "Because I'm not a Christian."
The teacher asks, "So what are you then? "
The girl replies, "I'm an atheist."
The teacher's a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.
She asks the girl why she's an atheist.
The girl says, "It's just that my family isn't religious. My Mom's atheist, and my Dad's atheist, so I'm atheist."rnrnThe teacher is now angry. "
That's no reason." she says loudly.
"What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
"Then," says the girl, "I'd be a born-again Christian."
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Your moms like a christmass tree all the guys put there balls on her.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road?
A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
Strong people don't put other people down.
They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
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Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"
Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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Yo momma is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
Redbull doesn't give you wings.
Lat pulldowns do.
The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas.
He just hired Chuck Norris.
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