Joke #12092

Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles? A: Mr. XMass

Do you believe in love at first set? Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?

Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.

Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"

When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.

Yo momma is so poor for Christmas she got a box, put two sticks on it, spun it and said son here's your xbox 360.

Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? A: Curls.

This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."

Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline. If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.

Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"

Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!