Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles?
A: Mr. XMass
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What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?
Cancer.
Vote:
At the gym:
Me: "What does this machine do?"
"Sir, that's a bench."
Me: "Perfect."
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Vote:
Do you believe in love at first set?
Or should I curl this barbell another 10 times?
Yo mamma so fat I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator.
Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart.
Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy.
Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell.
A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face.
"Holy cow! What's that smell?"
"I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?"
"Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!