Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles?
A: Mr. XMass
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I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps... do you wanna help me verify this?
Strong people don't put other people down.
They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
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An Avon Lady was delivering products in a high-rise and was riding in the elevator.
Suddenly, she had the powerful urge to fart.
Since no one was in the elevator, she let it go - and it was a doozy.
Of course, the elevator then stopped at the next floor, so she quickly used some Avon Pine-Scented Spray to cover up the smell.
A man entered the elevator and immediately made a face.
"Holy cow! What's that smell?"
"I don't know, sir. I don't smell anything. What does it smell like to you?"
"Like someone crapped a Christmas tree."
Redbull doesn't give you wings.
Lat pulldowns do.
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men?
A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me,
"Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it."
I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
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Thank you for calling the Weight Loss Hotline.
If you'd like to lose a half pound right now, press "1" 18,000 times.
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar?
Both their balls are decoration only.
I got stopped by a police officer on the way here.
He told me it was illegal to carry these guns in public.