Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles?
A: Mr. XMass
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Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted?
A: Because he was squatting.
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."
He came fifth and received a toaster.
Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
Yo mama so ugly when Santa came down the chimney he said ho! ho! hoooollly shit!
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!
Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
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Strong people don't put other people down.
They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
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