Q: What do you call Santa Claus with muscles?
A: Mr. XMass
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Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
Rudolph the well hung reindeer,
Had a great enormous cock,
All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock,
All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small,
Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all,
Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong...
Fuck my arsehole all night long!"
Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say,
"Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me,
"Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it."
I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
Vote:
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.
Vote:
Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym?
A: Curls.
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road?
A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.
At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.
One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”