Joke #12195

Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.

One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."

I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."

I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.

Q: How do Columbians develop muscle? A: By pushing drugs.

I think the only reason my husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"

When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.

Kobe Bryant wears the number 24 to remind himself about how many seconds he has to hog the ball.

No time for gym? Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.

A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."