Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
Do you squat here often?
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
Yo Momma's a bowling ball. She is round and heavy, men stick three fingers into her and push her in the gutter. Then she comes rolling back for more.
Do you know why the Cincinnati Bengals were the last NFL team to get a website? Because they couldnt put three W's in a row.
One day Stan comes home from a hard day at work. He sees his wife bending down to clean the floor under the sofa. So Stan goes over to his wife and starts fucking her from behind. After he finishes, he gives her a hard smack to the head. His wife yells, ''What was that for!?'' To which Stan replies, ''That's for not checking to see who it was.''
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted? A: Because he was squatting.