Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road?
A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
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One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle."
This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence.
Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast.
"You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras."
That was too far over the limit.
She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis.
Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
No time for gym?
Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.
Golf is a game in which the slowest people in the world are those in front of you, and the fastest are those behind.
What’s the difference between England and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
Basketball
I do two hours of cardio every day.
But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
Guy: "You see doc, the problem is obesity runs in the family."
Doctor: "No, the problem is no one runs in your family."
A man takes a beautiful blonde to his apartment.
They're kissing in the elevator when she feels something in his pocket.
"What is that?" she asks.
"Those are my golf balls."
"Is that like tennis elbow?"