Q: Why did the bodybuilder cross the road? A: He didn't. There's no walking on leg day.
One morning, while she was making breakfast, the local fitness freak walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bum and said, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." This was a bit over the limit, but she controlled herself and replied with silence. Next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast. "You know love if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bras." That was too far over the limit. She rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. Maintaining a vice grip, she whispered in his ear, "You know dear if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the pool man, the gardener and your brother."
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?
Yo mamma so small she uses a Dorito for a hang lider.
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
Dad shouts ..."STOP WATCHIN P*RN....I CAN HEAR IT IN MY ROOM!" Son: Dad...I am NOT watching p*rn... That is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!