Joke #3489

What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men

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"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, men
John and Bob were inseparable childhood friends. One night, they both died in a terrible car accident. When John woke up in heaven, he began to search for Bob but could not find him anywhere. Very distraught, he ran to St. Peter and said, "St. Peter, I know Bob was killed in that accident with me, but I can’t find him!" St. Peter said, "My son, I am sorry to tell you Bob didn’t make it to Heaven." This upset John so much that St. Peter agreed to let him see Bob one more time. St. Peter parted the clouds and John saw Bob sitting in hell with a keg on one side and a beautiful buxom blonde on the other. John looked at St. Peter skeptically and said, "Are you sure I’m in the right place?" "My son," St. Peter said, "looks can be deceiving. You see that keg of beer? It has a hole in it. You see that woman? She doesn’t!"
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, heaven, men
Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife? A: Let him keep her!
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: mean, men, wife
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: god, men, women
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
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has 69.39 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, men, women
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: car, dog, marriage, men, women
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. Karen said, "I call my husband the dentist because nobody can drill like he does." Joanne giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner, because of his incredible shaft." Kathy quietly sipped her whiskey until Joanne finally asked, "Well, what do you call your boyfriend?" Kathy frowned and said, "The postman." Looking puzzeled Joanne asked, "Why the postman?" "Because… he always delivers late and half the time it’s in the wrong box."
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, husband, men, sex, women
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
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has 77.23 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dad, hospital, men, nurse, wife
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women
A man ask his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?" Wife says, "I would take half and leave you". Man says, "Great! I have won a tenner, here a fiver now f*ck off!
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: men