What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay?
"Brace yourself, Sheila."
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How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
What is the difference between men and women?
A woman wants a man to satisfy their every little need.
A man wants all the women to satisfy their one and only little need.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
Six nuns are washing themselves all together when the doorbell rings.
One nun goes to the door and says 'who is it?'
An elderly gentleman replies "It's the blind man from the village" so the nun shouts to the others, "don't worry it's just the blind man from the village, I'll let him in."
She lets him in and goes "how can we help?"
The gent replies "I'm just going to go measure your blinds, but nice tits"
If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
God said to Adam, "I’ve got some good news and some bad news.
First the good news.
I have given you a brain and a p***s.
The bad news… I’ve only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called?
The man.