What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!
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Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
Do you know how to play gay poker?
Queens are wild and straights don’t count.
Did you hear about the homosexual electron?
Went around blowing fuses.
A US Army soldier sat in a bar with his head in his hands having just finished his first day of Airborne training.
His buddy sat down on the stool next to him and asked him what was the matter.
"I just finished my first day in Airborne training and it didn't go too well", he sighed.
"What happened?", his buddy asked.
"Well, we got over the jump zone, the green light came on and we all hooked up to the jump line.
We shuffled to the door and when it was my turn, I just froze. I couldn't jump."
"What happened then?", his buddy asked, concerned.
"Well the jump sargeant started yelling at me.
He said, Boy, if you don't jump right now, I'm going to shove my fist up your ass!"
"Did you jump?"
"Well, a little at first."
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated.
Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.
The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky."
The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake."
The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."
One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold.
The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs.
Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin' and a shakin'. The first flea asked, "What the hell happened to you?"
To which the second flea replied "I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I'm so very coldddd!"
The first flea said, "Don't you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to the airport, go straight to the mens cammode, wait for a young pilot to come along, and when he sits down you climb right up between his butt cheeks where its nice and warm".
The second flea agreed that this was a grand idea.
The next winter comes along and it was time for the fleas to head for the sunny beaches again.
The first flea arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flea legs.
About that time, the second flea arrived again just a shiverin', shakin', and mumbling about how cold he was.
The first flea exclaimed "Didn't you learn anything that I taught you about getting here nice and warm?"
To which the second flea replied, "I did just as you said; I went to the mens cammode and this pilot came in and sat down, I climbed right up between his butt cheeks and it was so very warm.
Next thing I know we stop at a bar and I fell asleep.
All of a sudden I woke and there I was, right back on that bikers mustache!
How can you make a gay man scream twice?
Fudge him real hard. Then wipe your dick off on his curtains.
Two fags are on a picnic,and the first guy says,"I have to take a
dumpski,"and he walks into the woods to do it.
Several minutes later,the other guy hears the first guy crying
"Boo Hoo,I Had A Miscarriage.
I Had A Miscarriage."
He runs into the woods to see what is going on.
When he gets there,the first guy is still crying,"Boo-Hoo I Had a Miscarriage...
He looks down and says,"Don't be silly.
You didn't have a miscarraige.
You had diarrhea on a toad."
More gay banter...
Four men got together at a reunion.
All of them had sons and they started discussing them.
The first man said his son was doing so well, he now owned a factory, manufacturing furniture.
Why, just the other day he gave his best friend a whole house full of brand new furniture.
The second man said his son was doing just as well.
He was a manager at a car sales firm.
Why, just the other day he gave his best friend a Ferrari.
The third man said his was doing well too.
He was a manager at a bank.
Why,just the other day he gave his best friend a the money to buy a house.
The fourth man just shook his head. He said his son was gay and hadn't amounted to much.
But he must be doing something right because,just the other day he was given a house, furniture and a Ferrari by his friends!