Did you hear about the homosexual electron? Went around blowing fuses.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
First woman in space: "Houston, we have a problem." What? "Never mind." What's the problem? "Nothing." Please tell us. "I'm fine."
Yo mama's so fat, she's the reason why the universe is expanding.
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.
Son: "Dad, I'm cold..." Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
Q:What does one gay say to another homo sitting at the bar? A:"Do you mind if I push in your stool?"
What do Scientists have for snacks? Micro-chips.