Q: Why was the lesbian sick? A: She was lacking vitamin D.
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
A boy with a physical disability has just returned from a summer camp. His mum with an astonished face notices a diploma dancing for 1st place at the bottom of the boy's luggage. Mum: "Jimmy, did you dance with a girl?" Boy: "Nouuu." Mum: "Did you dance with a boy then?" Boy: "No, mum." Mum: "So how did you get it?" Boy: "I went to take some tea."
Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach," Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, " ;because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because Im responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood Was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work... The ass hole is usually in charge.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? A: Snap-on tools!
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous. "My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?" "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!