Q: Why was the lesbian sick? A: She was lacking vitamin D.
What’s the difference between a straight woman and a bisexual woman? 4 drinks.
The retired man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. Everywhere I touch it hurts." The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow." The guy touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. The doctor, surprised, then states, "Touch your head." The guy touches his head and jumps in agony. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. Everywhere the guy touches he hurts like hell. The doctor is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays, etc. and tells the guy to come back in two days. Two days later the guy comes back and the doctor declares, "We've found your problem." "Oh yeah? What is it?" asks the retiree. The Doctor remarks, "You've broken your finger!"
Q: What do you give a sick bird? A: Tweetment!
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
Someone asked me how I view Lesbian relationships. Apparently, "in HD" wasn't the correct answer.
What do you call 50 lesbians and 50 government employees in one room? 100 people that don''t do dick!
How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)
A woman was suspicious in the loyalty of her husband for a long time and she decided to make him jealous. "My love, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?" "I'd say you're a lesbian!"