Q: Why was the lesbian sick?
A: She was lacking vitamin D.
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How do lesbians handle their liquor?
By the ears.
(Lick her)
How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?
All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
What do you call an open can of tuna in a lesbians apartment?
Potpourri.
Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian?
A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
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The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen.
While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza.
The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt.
As if the health inspector didn't already have enough fuel for his citation-writing pen, the chef proceeded to grab a lump of pizza dough and press it out flat on his bare chest.
Appalled, the health inspector had barely finished up when an order came back for a hamburger.
The cook proceeded to grab a handful of ground meat and pressed it into a perfect patty in his armpit.
Shocked an bewildered, the health inspector called for the manager and explained the gravity of the deplorable conditions he had seen.
"That's nothing," replied the manager, "You should come back at five in the morning when he makes the donuts!"
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
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What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
See ya next month.
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Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
Fur traders.
An old man goes to his doctor.
The doctor says "I got some bad news for you. you have Cancer and you have Alzheimer's."
And the old man says "At least I don't have Cancer."
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