Joke #12307

Q: Why was the lesbian sick? A: She was lacking vitamin D.

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams inagony. She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken

Two Generals were preparing for battle. The first General calls his aide and says "Bring me my red uniform!" The other General asks why he would wear a red uniform. The first General explains that if he gets wounded then his soldiers won't see the blood and lose their courage. The other General thinks about this, then calls to his aide "Bring me my brown uniform!"

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom."

If you are ill, so lie down and you'll walk it sooner loose.

The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue? A: Well hung.

In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See ya next month.

Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.

My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment. The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat." He smiled. "Done."