What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
Fur traders.
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What do you call 50 lesbians and 50 government employees in one room?
100 people that don''t do dick!
How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?
All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
Did you hear about the two lesbians who bought an organ so they could play hymns?
Q: What do a gay and a garbage truck have in common?
A: Both take it in the rear.
Lesbians can also take Viagra.
They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay?
A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
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Q: Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him?
A: He came home shit faced.
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Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
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Two gay men decide to have a baby.
They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated.
When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital.
Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming.
One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely.
A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
''Isn't it wonderful?''
Brad exclaims.
''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.''
''He's happy now," says the nurse.
"But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.''