The only exercise I have done this month... is running out of money.
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A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?"
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit.
When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram.
However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim.
She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet.
Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.
Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
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Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move?
A: The splits!
Yo mama is so fat when she sat on WALMART she lowered the price.
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal.
He answered: "Where?"
The country went bankrupt.
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Joke has 47.02 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, geography, money, travel
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
A prominent lawyer calls a plumber to fix a leak in his shower.
After about 25 minutes the plumber hands him a bill for $200.00.
The lawyer, enraged, says:
“I’m a famous trial lawyer, and even I don’t make that kind of money for 25 minutes work!”
“Neither did I when I was a lawyer”, says the plumber.
Budgeting: When you work out that the money you owe is exactly the same as the money you spent.
Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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