The only exercise I have done this month... is running out of money.
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A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?"
He said, "How flexible are you?"
I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
Dick’s family were very poor – when the wolf came to the door, they ate it.
Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym?
A: Curls.
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump.
"Well, go in the bushes."
"What should I use to wipe my ass?"
"Use a dollar bill."
A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands.
"What happened?" asks his friend.
"I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
Vote:
What I want to know is how did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
What do you do for exercise?
I lift weights.
What do you do for cardio?
I lift weights faster.
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette?
He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
No time for gym?
Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.