Joke #12319

The only exercise I have done this month... is running out of money.

A doctor notices a sidewalk stand that says 'brains for sale.' He goes over to investigate and sees a sign that says 'Doctor brains $8.00 a pound' and another sign that says 'Paramedic brains $12.00 a pound, Nurses brains $30.00 a pound, truck driver $40.00 a pound and lawyers brains $90.00 a pound.' So he asks the man behind the cash register, how come his brains are only worth 8.00 and a lawyer's worth 90.00? The man replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound of brains?

What do you call an Asian billionare. Cha Ching.

What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.

What kind of money do polar bears use? Ice lolly.

How'd you like to go on a long romantic walk on the treadmill?

Q: How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? A: Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

Do you squat here often?

I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.

At the gym: Me: "What does this machine do?" "Sir, that's a bench." Me: "Perfect."

‘Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of “rich” usually cancels out the nice of “bald”.’ Rita Rudner