What did the vagina say to the penis.
So do you cum here often.
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Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills.
I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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Q: "What is the difference between like and love?"
A: "Spit and swallow."
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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“Honey”, says the wife to her husband, “last night I had the most AMAZING dream..I dreamed that we were making love and next to our bed there was a black man from Africa who was waving a fan to us and that gave me great satisfaction..”
The couple decided to make the dream come true, so they found a black man and offered him 200 euros to wave the fan to them while they made love.
The three of them went home and the couple started having sex while the black man was waving the fan.
But still the wife couldn’t get any satisfaction..So she proposed that they should change roles.
She would make love with the black man and the husband would wave the fan next to them.
The husband accepted and started waving the fan…
After a while, the wife screamed of pleasure and asked for more!
So the husband said to the black man: “Do you understand now how you should wave the fan, you ashole?”
My girlfriend likes to pretend to be a 14 year old when we have sex.
I don't get it she will be 14 in a few years anyway.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote:
Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs?
A: Because they have to!
An old couple decide to get married after years of courting.
They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex.
‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée.
‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’
‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom.
‘Was that one word or two?’