Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’
Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’
Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’
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A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks:
Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg?
There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?
The wife bought a new see through nighty, wore it without any underclothes and came swinging before the husband.
Aroused Husband says, "You look so beautiful and sexy my darling."
The wife says, "I know that, I tried it the same way at the store and the salesman was the first one to tell me that."
Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face?
A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
Vote:
Why are guys like microwavable meals?
They’re both done in 30 seconds.
Q: What's a man's definition of safe sex?
A: When his wife's out of town.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.
“Mother, where do babies come from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina.
That’s how you get a baby, honey.”
The child seems to comprehend.
“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth.
What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear.
Jewelry.”
Did you hear about the idiot who put ice in his condom?
He wanted to keep the swelling down.