Strong people don't put other people down.
They lift them up and slam them to the ground for maximum impact.
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Q: What do you call a Jew with a mental disability?
A: Auschwitztic.
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Doctor: "Yes, what is it I can do for you?"
Blond: "Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?"
Doctor: "The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is."
Someone call CSI.
I just killed my workout.
When you were in the gang then, you just had to look cool, just walk around and look like you were tough.
Someone started talking about fighting -- 'No, man, I've got to go home.'
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I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me,
"Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it."
I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
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How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred?
On the fingers!
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Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
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What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Baked Beings.
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Q: Why did Arnold Schwarzenegger train on a desert island?
A: He wanted maximum isolation.
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