At the gym: Me: "What does this machine do?" "Sir, that's a bench." Me: "Perfect."
Just been to the gym and there's a new machine. Only used it for an hour as I started to feel sick. Its good though, it does everything 'Kitkats, Mars bars, Snickers and crisps'!
I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? A: Curls.
Redbull doesn't give you wings. Lat pulldowns do.