Chuck Norris is the four horsemen of the apocalypse!
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Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
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King Kong climbed the Empire State Building because Chuck Norris was waiting at the bottom.
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Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring.
His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
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Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
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Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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