Chuck Norris is the four horsemen of the apocalypse!
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the beach, he puts on sunscreen to protect the sun from him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.
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Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
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The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
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Aliens do exist.
They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
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Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
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Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
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