Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
Chuck Norris is the only person that can make you feel a punch to your face in your groin.
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!
The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.