Chuck Norris once shot someone with a knife.
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died?
His shoe.
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Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as "You Know Who."
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Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
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Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Chuck Norris knows the last number of infinity.
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